Doom is riding a kitten
by Two-twisted-girls
Summary: Loki is sentenced to death and the only way he can save himself is to offer Steve Rogers as a present to the psycotic goddess of love Freya. But what happens when he finds himself falling in love with the Captain?
1. Chapter 1

**So yes. This is the better half of the wingmen-crew. s/8563047/1/Wingmen**

**This is my own project but it is still pretty fuck'd up i guess. But yeah... enjoy c: **

**I apologieze for mistakes! **

**Chapter 1: In which Steve is all eco friendly**

****Doom is wearing a tight, blue robe creeping tightly over her perfect curves. Her lips are full and her giant, floor length hair is braided with flowers. But her eyes are filled with pure hate. Hate towards that one special raven haired man laying on the ground in front of her. His ivory skin is splashed red with his own royal blood that she has made flow like waterfalls down his entire body. The worst part is that he is still good looking. No matter what she does to break his body it seems that he still will be as pretty as herself and that angers her even more.

"You know it is expected of me to kill you now?" she ask. Loki has been put through a lot of weird forms for torments before and it was first when he was sentenced to death that he didn't laugh his tormentors up in their faces. But of course no one but her volunteered to put his miserable life to an end. All the other gods simply thinks he is so damn charming and no one wants to do the deed. It is almost like putting an old family dog to sleep. Loki opens his eyes. He has this frightened expression on his face. Eyes are all big and tears are starting to develope. He know that she will do it and enjoy it.

"Why do you hate me so much?" Freya smiles.

"Dwarfs," she answers him. Loki nods with a pained expression. It hurts just to move a little.

"And everybody will hate me when i kill you... You know I will not kill you. Not yet."

"You will keep trying to make me uglier than you?"

"Shut up you man whore!" She kicks him in the side as hard as she can't. To her own satisfaction she can feel a rib break. Or so she hopes.

"You know this doesn't even hurt anymore! You are wasting your time! Just kill me already!" Loki is almost yelling this with a pathetic voice. He is almost crying. Freya smiles.

"No... I will set you free."

"What kind of sick joke is that?"

"It is no joke. I need you to do something for me. If you are doing it right I will let you flee. All the others think i am a dumb bimbo anyways so I can just say that you tricked me. They would believe me." Loki looks confused for a second.

"If you are lying i will come back and haunt you for the rest of your life," he whisper with a hoarse voice.

Captain America wakes up in the middle of the night. Some kind of moth is flying around in his room. An uneasy feeling of being watched creeps over him and he sighs. He gets out of the bed to open a window.

"Freedom is out there little buddy," he whispers softly to the bug, and gets back in the bed.

Loki groans in his mind. Because of his current moth form it is impossible to make a sound. What kind of closetfagdisneyprincess is that guy anyway? Freedom is out there little buddy? Seriously? He should probably get the deed done but somehow he is curious. No one can be a complete saint. That is simply impossible. He must have some flaws like hating people of colour or something. Loki decides that he have time enough and can stick around and stalk prince charming for a little while. He is first meeting up with Freya in a week or so anyways.

The Captains alarm goes of at 06.30. He whimpers a little before he kills the annoying sound. Then he does 80000 pushups in a zombie like state before he walks to the shower. He gets under the hot water humming with his eyes closed and looking like a male model or worse. He leaves again with a tiny tiny towel wrapped around the hips. Then he get dressed and makes the bed. There's still some soldier in him, the bug thinks.

No one else is awake when he enters the kitchen. He finds some weird fairtrade grains and starts cooking up a large portion of some kind of disgustingly healthy porridge. Still humming. The bug is expecting that bambi and the birds and rabbits from the forest will enter and humm with him but only other superheroes appears. When the porridge is done they only miss two members of the group but the heroes sit down and start eating. The one is in Asgard and is probably all emo about the death penalty of his adopted brother who he himself brought right in the arms of the giant boobmonster/exsecuter. The other probably has a hangover or something. They are all chatting happily together when the bird guy wrinkles his nose when the food hit his tastebuds.

"Wow that is really disgusting!" Everybody laughs. The captain shrugs.

"You should eat it. It is good for you."

"No i want! You're not my mom!"

"Clint! Be nice to your ma or i will ground the shit out of you. Now shut up and eat your veggies!" More laughter. The Captain rolls his eyes as the man of iron walks in and sit down at the table with a smug grin. He takes a look at what's served.

"That is disgusting."

"If you don't take that back someone is gonna sleep on the couch tonight and it is not me," The Captain answers with an angelic smile. Everybody just dies and Tony hurries to finish his meal without more complaints.

Later The cap leaves the tower. He have something to do so he pick up his...bicycle? Loki doesn't really understand. He is the owner of a hot piece of Harley so why the bike? And so he rolls into town. He stops once to help a kitten who is stucked in a tree and later to help an old Lady cross the road. Loki has to transform into a seagull to keep up with him. The moth body is too slow.

Suddenly Loki smirks (inside his head. A seagull can't smirk.) Just a little further two bratty black boys are painting graffiti in a spawning. This is gonna be fun. As Loki hopes the cap notices and stops up. He take a look at the work of vandalism and smiles. The boys haven't seen him yet.

"This is so beautiful! You must have spend hours on that!" The captain says. He is almost speechless and with christmas candles in his eyes. The boys turn around and smiles at him.

"Thank you very much Steve!" they say with one voice.

"You have to learn me that some time!"

Seagull Loki is about to smash his head against a wall. What has gotten into him? Wanna learn to do graffiti. It is against the law for gods sake? And apparently he's not even racist. Loki is a little disappointed.

At last he parks outside a goodwill thrift store. He walks in. Greet another old lady behind the counter and take of his jacket. And start working. So he is doing some volunteer work. That is to be expected. But why in a thrift store? That is a little atypical for Captain America. Oh well he himself is kind of vintage so why the fuck not?

Loki has to transform himself again. This time to a mouse. He enters the store with two gay looking, hipster guys and hides away under a mountain of sweaters. The two hipster guys are now holding hands. Definitely gays. Loki smirks. Maybe he's not racist but at least a homophobe. Come on! The guy is from the 40's.

"Steve! We were hoping to catch you here!"

"Hey guys! How was the honeymoon?" Loki nearly chokes. He has befriended the gay guys?! And ask them about their honeymoon? What is wrong with the world? And the worst part is that Loki is starting to feel a little sorry for what is going to happen to the guy. He actually seems like an... okay fella.

"I actually got you guys something."

"Ooh honey! You shouldn't!" the gays says in a syncron voice. The cap smiles and throw two matching flannels at them.

"You can't be a real couple without matching outfits, or so I heard. It is Ralph Lauren from the 70's. Very vintage as you like it," he says. The gay guys then gets all emotional and they group hug and stuff, and Loki decides that he better leave before he throws up.

Steve Rogers turned the key to the store and unlocked his bike. He sure did miss his hot piece of harley at home, but the ice was melting at the poles, and it almost brought tears to his eyes, thinking about those poor, drowning polar bears. Bicycles didn't pollute and Captain America wasn't the only one who tried to save the planet. Steve from brooklyn tried to do his share too.

The sun was slowly going down and the beautiful red and purple colors painted the sky over New smiled. Sometimes it was fine waking up in the future. Everything hadn't changed that much after all and some things even got better. His friends Joe and Joe could even get married and that made him happy.

He hadn't always felt like tha tho. At first when woke up he had thought that kind of relationships was a sin. But then again he had changed his mind about a lot of things. After that one incident. Just as that thought slipped his mind he drove by the graffiti he had admired on the way to the store. He couldn't help but turn the bike around and go inside the spawning to get a closer look. It indeed was a nice work of art. He couldn't really read the letters but the boys (Keith and Muhammad) had once told him that it kinda was the point. But the colors were powerful and strong in orange and black. Almost as if it was glowing in the dimmed light.

"I thought you were against vandalism Captain?" a low voice whispered into his ear.

"It's not vandalism it is art," Steve answered with a soft voice. Then the realisation that someone had sneaked up on him and actually was so close that he could feel the cool breath on his neck, suddenly hid him like a brick. Steve froze. That voice was also freakishly familiar.

"Since when have you started caring about that kind of things?"

"Since always. I thought you had returned to Asgard, Loki?" To his big disappointment it was a little bit too clear that his voice was shaking.

"Yeah I was but I have promised a friend of mine to pick something up for her here in Midgard... Say sweet Captain are you scared of me?" The smirk was to be heard in his voice. Steve sighed.

"The Captain does not fear anything. Sadly i am just Steve Rodgers today and I must admit i am feeling a little bit uncomfortable with this situation. Are you here to kill me?"

"No no not at all!" Steve slowly turned his head to meet the gaze of the slightly sociopathic god. And there he was. Just a hands length from him with his staff pointed towards him. And he was smiling. Not an evil maniac smile. It almost looked like there was a little bit of pity mixed in there.

"If you are not going to kill me why are you then pointing your staff at me?" Steve asked.

"Yeah that is the point. The thing is that what i should pick up... I don't know how I should put it, but it is you..." Steve didn't even have the time to yell 'What?' because just as the god finished talking he poked him with the staff and Steve immediately fell into a deep sleep filled with rainbows and kittens.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaim: I don't own Steve and Loki but boy if I did!**

Chapter 2: In which both of them fear the cat-lady

A soft breeze played with the leaves in the crown of a gigantic tree just outside. Everything was soft and smelled like elderflowers. Steve smiled still with his eyes closed. He felt amazing. He stretched his whole body with a yawn and really felt how soft the bed, he was laying in, was. So much softer than his bed in the tower. And then he suddenly didn't feel that good anymore. The memories slowly returned to him. Loki behind him. Talking about picking something up and that something was him. And then. Rainbows and other sparkly things? Oh yeah. He had been poked. With the staff. And that had made him trip out. Almost like... _that incident_.

Steve slowly opened his eyes. He was laying in a giant bed strewn with elderflowers in a little octagonal room with windows on every side. He slowly sat up. He was not hurt in anyway but his clothing had disappeared and he was now only covered with a soft, white blanket. He looked outside. The little house was just beside an elderflower tree on the size of Stark tower standing on a green meadow covered in all kinds of flowers. Steve rolled out of the bed with a small whimper. What the fuck was going on and where were he anyway? And plus he really needed some clothing. He then noticed a chair with a white robe in some light material, that reached a little over his knee. He thankfully tugged it over his head and ran out of the little house. He was just about to run out in a random direction but it really seemed like the meadow was never ending.

"Don't run away. You will end up here again in a couple of hours. Trust me it's a terrible waste of energy." Steve turned around.

"Loki?"

"Over here!" Loki was laying in the tall grass between two of the giant roots of the elderflower tree. Steve hesitated a moment before he slowly walked over and sat on the root beside the god. The god looked him up and down and gave him an appreciative smile.

"Looking good. It suits you." Steve sighed.

"I bet I look like one of those hippie guys..." Loki laughed.

"Yes. But a pretty one!" Steve shrugged.

"So why am I here? And where are we anyways?" Loki sighed.

"Yeah you will probably not enjoy hearing this but right now we are in the goddess Freya's magic garden. We are currently awaiting Freya herself to come and pick you up and take you to her private quarters where you will be staying as her pet until you're not pretty anymore..."

"What? Why?" Steve nearly choked. Loki shrugged.

"She finds you attractive i guess?"

"What do you mean as her pet?"

"Well you will be her lover... no who am I kidding? You are merely gonna be her bed warmer. What do you earthlings call it?... Bitch! Yeah you will be her bitch. I'm sorry about that." Steve spend a long time trying to get some words out over his lips but all he managed to utter was a few whining sounds.

"But I mean it is not that bad. She's quite good looking. Almost as pretty as me. Maybe you will like her," Loki said with a comforting smile. He sat up but couldn't help but wince. He could still feel Freyas torture in every bone of his body.

"I don't want to be her bitch. Couldn't I just take her out to dinner or something?" Steve asked with a small voice. Loki laughed so all his broken ribs clinked, or so he imagined.

"I doesn't work that way with her! Especially not when you're a mere mortal. If you refuse... well i kind of think she would enjoy raping you." Steve flinched as he heard the word rape. So it was that kind of twisted lady. It would be over his dead body.

"I refuse!" he said with his Captain America voice.

"Yeah it doesn't really work that way."

"Your brother wouldn't let this happen!"

"I'm sure not. But he would not know where to look for you. And people don't really like entering Freya's sex-dungeon so he probably wouldn't find you. Oh I truly am sorry about this!" With that said Loki took a look on Steve's 'verge of tears' face and broke down laughing. Steve rose in a firm motion and started walking away from Loki and the house.

"Captain? What are you doing?" Loki yelled after him.

"I'm finding my way out!" Steve answered.

"I already told you! Only Freya and I can come and leave as we pleases!" Loki yelled but Steve was already out of earshot.

When Loki was out of sight Steve started running. He ran as fast as he could through the flowers for hours until he was nearly dead of exhaustion and then he saw the giant tree rising in front of him.

"I told you. It is impossible to leave." Steve turned around and saw Loki standing behind him with a pitying expression on his face. Steve's shoulder started shaking as the truth of his tragic fate hit him and he sank to his knees. Because of the long run he didn't have the energy to fight the tears so he just closed his eyes instead as the warm liquid ran down his cheeks. He really didn't want to look at the god right now.

Two arms wrapped carefully around him and dragged him into a comforting embrace. Steve's eyes fluttered open and widened in shock as he saw that the god of mischief had dropped to his knees right in front of him and was now hugging him?

- Don't look at me like that! Oh no he is definitely looking at me like that...at least don't cry. Don't... alright he is definitely crying. Oh how I hate it when grown men cry. Oh well, can't help it..

"Easy now... It is not that bad..." Loki whispered. Steve opened his mouth but nothing but sobs came out.

"I mean she really is quite pretty, and maybe she will treat you nice. Maybe you will fall in love with her. I mean she is the goddess of love after all!" Loki's shoulder was slowly getting more and more soaked as Steve gave up and melted into the hug.

"Fuck you Loki I hate you," Steve whispered. Loki smiled a little sad smile. How he wished he could say 'I hate you too' or something but it was a little difficult to feel negative feelings towards Captain Steve Rodgers. It would be like hating a puppy. They sat there for awhile until the sobs slowly stopped and Loki rose to his feet offering Steve a hand.

"Let's go back to the tree. Then i will make you something to eat," Loki said with a soft voice. Steve didn't answer but nodded slowly and followed the god back.

He sat down with his back against the tree trunk and watched the god make a fire and walk away for a moment before he returned with a very dead rabbit.  
"Why?" Steve then asked with almost no voice. Loki sat down on a root and started preparing the animal.

"I did it to save myself. She was supposed to kill me. She tortured me for days and then she told me to bring you to her. I had no choice." Steve nodded. He looked up still with a tear streaked face and smiled.

"You want help with that?" he asked with a gentle voice nodding towards the animal. Loki looked confused.

"That's it? I am forgiven?"

"No not really but I understand you and I don't want anyone to die for me. I mean maybe I will like her and girls around the world endure the same in forced marriages with disgusting old men." Slowly his eyes started to water again and he wiped them angrily.

"I am a grown man! I should be able to manage!" he said a little louder trying to hide the tremble in his voice but without any luck. He then covered his face with his hands and sat like that for awhile. He really didn't think he could endure. Loki violently slitted the bunny open and forcefully ripped it's innards out and threw it away. God he needed to destroy something cute and fluffy because this wasn't at all as easy as he had hoped.

Loki prepared the meal in silence. The sun slowly went down and soon the fire was the only thing lighting up their faces.

"How is she?" Steve asked. Loki flinched by the sound of his voice. He had been silent for quite awhile and the god didn't really expect that he wanted to speak more with him. He shrugged and handed Steve a bunny-leg.

"Well I guess she is powerful. Almost as powerful as my mothe... the woman who raised me, maybe even more. It is funny because she's not even a real As. She is a Vanir and was taken as hostage when we won the battle against them. And now she is practically ruling the place. I swear sometimes I think even Allfather is scared of her." Steve lifted an eyebrow.

"How about you? Are you scared of her?" Loki shivered and made a weird face before he spoke.

"No! I don't fear anyone! For Odins sake! She's a blonde bimbo riding around in a wagon dragged by giant cats. Why should I fear her?"

"They don't have to look dangerous to be it," Steve answered with a small voice and a little smile playing on his lips.

"Look at your self for example." Loki pouted.

"Just so you know. I believe I do look dangerous! When I wish to... And I do not fear her!"

"But didn't she torture you? And by the way you look like you are in pain when you are doing just the slightest movement. She couldn't have gone easy on you. There's no shame in fearing people who have harmed you," Steve said. Loki shrugged.

"I'm used to it," he said with a cold smile. Steve looked at him with a stone face.  
"You shouldn't be," he answered. Loki was almost sure he could hear some anger in his voice. He nodded and took a giant bite of the once so fluffy animal. Silence hit for a while.

"I mean she doesn't even want to be scary I think. She just is. And she will do anything to earn more power. I think she even slept with my dad... And her own husband. He is just gone. Disappeared. Just like that. Sometimes I believe that he has never existed. It is so weird. And she hates me. Really. She hates me so much. I mean a lot of people hate me but not that much. That is what's frightens me the most."

"So she does frighten you?" Steve asked. Loki didn't answer that but once again took a violent bite.

"Loki. It is alright. You shouldn't be ashamed."

"I do not feel shame."

"If you say so. When is she arriving?"

"In a week." Steve looked down in the fire and nodded slowly.

"I should be able to prepare my self in a week. Man up you know. Do you think I am weak now?" Loki's eyes widened and he shook his head violently.

"No! No not at all! I think you are brave!" Steve smiled.

"Thank you I guess. I don't believe you are telling me the truth tho." Loki shrugged.

"That is your loss." Silence.

"So what are you gonna do when you are free of her? Hopefully not trying to take over the world again?"

"No... Midgaard is overrated. I think I will keep a low profile. I am still sentenced to death you know. Live alone in a forest or on a mountain until Ragnarok or something. I don't really have any other plans than not to die." Steve nodded. He rose and stretched his body.

"I am exhausted. I will go to bed. Freya will probably prefer me getting my beauty sleep." Loki couldn't help but chuckle.

"I will sleep too then," he said. He laid himself down in the grass and closed his eyes.

"Goodnight Captain."

"Please call me Steve." Steve turned around and started walking back. He stopped up just outside the octagonal house.

"Loki?" he called.

"Yes?"

" Isn't it cold to sleep outside?"

"I will survive!"

"Alright then. Goodnight." Steve said and entered the house.

_A strong, boiling hot, female body forced him down into a all to soft bed. It felt like he was drowning and burning at the same time. He tried to fight back but he was paralyzed by fear. Her head was the head of a cat with blade-like teeth. She lowered her face towards his and dug her fangs deep down his skin and tore his face of with a terrible tearing sound._

He woke up by someone shaking him violently. Someone was yelling his name. Steve opened his eyes up wide. A pale, black haired man was over him.  
"Wake up! It is just a nightmare!" Steve sat up and carefully felt that his face was still there.

"I am awake now," he mumbled. He felt that all of his body was shaking violently.

"What are you doing here? I thought you slept outside?" Loki smiled with pitying eyes.

"I couldn't ignore your screams. Was it her taunting you in your sleep? Wait! I don't want you to answer. Would you believe me if I told you that I hate doing this to you? It is really torturing me." Steve closed his eyes and slowly shook his head.

"I think you are just petting the lamb before you slit its throat but it is alright. Right now i need the comfort." Loki sighed brushed some strands of hair away from Steve's face in a gentle motion.

"It is not like that. Not at all."

"It is expected of you to say so." Loki sighed and managed to climb halfway out of the bed before Steve lifted a hand to stop him.

"Will you please stay? It is kind of embarrassing but right now I am so terribly scared." Loki nodded.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of as you said." He then climbed back and curled up beside Steve. The soldier eventually stopped shaking and fell asleep again. This time without any dreams.

**Next Chapter coming up soon!**


	3. Chapter 3

**So I have been a productive little girl. And haven't been paying attention in all of my classes. This chapter is the result of that. Hello upcoming bad grades and it is totally worth it! :D I hope it pleases you!**

Landevejsridder

Chapter 3: In which the story about the incident is revealed and other secrets too

The days silently went by with the two men waiting for the goddess. The most of the time they sat in the tall grass talking about everything and nothing. They didn't mention Freya anymore, as if it was a silent agreement between them. They both felt uneasy about her and it was easier just to forget. Sometimes Loki would wander off and return with a poor, little animal they would eat and then they would go to sleep when the darkness snuck up on them. The first nights went by without any nightmares but as the end of the week came closer Steve sometimes would wake up bathed in sweat and shaking like a small dog but he would also wake up beside a god who would comfort him. When they reached the third morning they once again found themselves in between the flowers.

"When did you learn to make garlands?" Loki asked. He laid in the grass beside Steve who had used the most of the morning to braid the beautiful plants together in crowns.

"I don't remember. Some girl when I was little i think."

"You are a little weird."

"So are you."

"Yeah but you are supposed to be the all american hero and you are biking around, admiring graffiti, braiding garlands and befriend gay people. I expected you to be a little more conservative." Steve shrugged.

"I guess I was more... conservative before I had my accident." Loki looked curiously at him.

"What accident?"

"You remember Tony?"

"The man of Iron? Yes." Steve smiled kind of embarrassed.

"He had these... special post stamps. Okay so I found them and I needed to send a letter. At first i didn't notice anything unusual but then it hit me like a rock!" Loki's eyes widened.

"What?"

"The acid! LSD," Steve answered with just as big eyes.

"And that is?"

"It is a psychedelic. It makes you see things!" Loki lifted an eyebrow.

"And what did you see?"

"I saw the world! But different. And suddenly I knew I was wrong about a lot of stuff. Vandalism was beautiful! All kinds of love was beautiful! We all just needed to love and paint our buildings in all the colors of the rainbow and save the planet! I was different after that." Loki started cracking up.

"So Captain America did illegal drugs? This is the best day ever!"

"Hey it wasn't on purpose!" more laughter and then silence.

"Say do you like men or something?" Loki asked.

"Hmm maybe. I don't know. I don't really focus that much on the sex anymore. Only the true, pure love but I haven't found it yet and now I probably never will. Unless it is Freya of course. Why?" Steve answered as he tied the garland together and threw it on top of Loki's head. Loki sighed but didn't remove the flowers. Steve looked pleased.

"I don't know. The talk about rainbow colored buildings and the garland left me wondering. So you have never had a special someone?"

"Only one. But she is dead now. We didn't even make it on a date."

"How about an one nights stand?"

"Nope. I'm not really into that."

"So you have stayed pure?" Loki asked with a low voice. Steve nodded with a sad smile.

"I guess I just wanted it to be, you know, special at some point. Well now it sure is gonna be special but i'm not sure if it is a good thing." He almost didn't finish the sentence before Loki stood up and stomped away with an expression that told he could explode every second. When he was out of sight he looked up in the sky and started screaming like a madman and he did not stop until his throat was almost bleeding.

At first Loki had really thought he could manage. He was the bad guy for gods sake. For just a couple of months ago he was ready to kill Steve without blinking. But now after he had been stuck on the meadow of flowers with him for three days he could not even dream about poking the guy with a pointy stick. The way he would admire a simple, blue flower. The way he would talk about his team as they were his family. The way he would keep insisting on Loki didn't deserve to die and the world wouldn't be a better place without him. The way he would be brave in the day but paralyzed by fear in the night. It was tearing Loki apart more or less. And now the terrible revelation that Steves virginity was going to belong to Freya was just too much for him. It was unbearable. He fell to his knees with a hissing sound. Now there were only one thing to do.

The sound of running footsteps just behind him. He didn't turn around. A warm hand on his shoulder. Loki reached up and catched it in a firm grip.  
"What's wrong? Why were you screaming?" The captain sounded worried. Loki didn't answer.

"Loki?" Loki stood up. Still without letting go of Steve's hand. Then he turned towards Steve with fire burning in his eyes.

"Come," he said and started dragging Steve back towards the house.

"Loki? Where are we going? What's wrong?" Loki didn't answer and just tightened his grip around Steves wrist as he tried to struggle. Steve eventually gave up getting any answers out of the god and ended up following him back. As they reached the house Loki released Steve and pushed him inside and smacked the door violently after them. He then once again looked into Steve's eyes with that furious expression.

"Steve! Take of your clothes," he said. Steve's first reaction was confused.

"Wait what?"

"I will not allow Freya to have the pleasure to corrupt you so I will do it before she get the chance! Now strip!" Loki ordered. Steves confusion turned into pure fright.

"I don't think I understand..." Steve started to ramble but Loki forcefully pushed him down into the bed and jumped on top of him.

"Loki please stommmmpphhhhh..." Loki drowned Steves almost pleading voice with his mouth. Steve tried to fight back but the god was way stronger than he looked. When he gasped after air Loki slipped his tongue in and forcefully started to explore the inside of the soldiers mouth. Steve was completely pinned to the madress while the god had his wrists in an unbreakable grip. He could barely move an inch. He still tried to shake Loki of but the god must have been some kind of rodeo cowboy in his former life. Okay that wasn't possible but maybe they had something similar in Asgard. Loki finally broke the kiss. He looked at the stunned soldier with a smirk on his face as he took both Steve wrists in one hand and made his, now free, other hand travel up Steves thigh and up under the white robe. Steve couldn't hold an embarrassingly girlish high pitched sound in.

"Loki! Please stop! I don't want this!" he yelped.

"Oh shut up Steven. I'll promise i make you feel good!" the god answered. Steve shook his head violently as he felt the hand dangerously approach it's final destination.

"Please Loki. Not like this! I don't want it to be your revenge upon Freya. This is an act of love for gods sake!" The last was said in a fragile voice who threatened to break. Loki looked Steve in the eyes with a small smile and sighed.

"Can't you understand how terrible it would be for you to go to bed with Freya for the first time. I at least are your friend." With that said the trickster rolled over and laid beside the soldier. Silence.

"You are my friend?"

"Yes I see it like that." Steve rolled over and looked at the god with suspicion in his eyes.

"We are friends huh? Do you really care about me so much?" He didn't sound like he believed Lokis words at all. Loki actually looked kind of hurt.

"Infact I do care about you! Is that so difficult to believe?" Steve smiled but there was some traces of sadness in his eyes.

"I wish it wasn't." Loki groaned and sat up.

"I know I am the 'bad guy' but that doesn't mean I can not care for someone! In fact I actually have come to like you! And now I will leave you to let that information sink into your thick head while I take my aggression out on something furry and eatable." He then crawled out of the bed and proceeded to stomp out of the house. He stopped up in the doorframe and turned around.

"You know? I will not let that she devil have your virginity!" with that he walked out and left Steve in a storm of thoughts and emotions.

A couple of hours after, Loki returned. At first everything seemed rather normal but then a blonde man dressed in white with lightning, blue eyes suddenly stepped out right in front of him. Loki hissed and almost threw the pheasant, he had claimed, to the ground.

"Loki! I have thought about it!" Steve exclaimed.  
"If you swear you really do care about me and not only thinks of getting back at Freya then let's do it! Rather you than her." Loki's eyes widened, his jaw dropped and the now pretty withered crown of flowers slowly split into two and felt to the ground. But then a soft smile crept over his lips and he stepped forward and took Steve's hand. He dragged him closer in a fluid motion and kissed him, this time softly, on the lips. When he pulled away Steves face was slightly flushed and he still looked as frightened as before.  
"Don't be scared," Loki whispered and pulled him back toward the house.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: In which... fondue

Loki led Steve back to the chamber where he again seeked the soldiers mouth. At first Steve didn't answer the kiss but he eventually gave in. Loki sat down on the bed still without them breaking apart and gently tucked Steve down with him. He could feel the other man shaking a bit. Loki pulled back and looked at Steve.

"You are frightened?" he said. Steve bit his lip and nodded silently.

"Don't worry I won't hurt you. Just relax." Steve nodded again and sat down beside Loki.

"Loki i am not scared of you. I haven't been since we arrived. I'm scared that I would fall for you." Loki actually looked surprised. He didn't answer. He just looked almost seeking into the soldiers blue eyes. He then allowed his arms to wander around the soldiers waist and tug him into a tight embrace. He felt Steves body tense up at first but then he melted into Lokis arms. They sat like that without saying anything for awhile. Steve then leaned forward and brushed his lips against the gods again. It started off again slowly and soft but then Steve suddenly slipped his tongue inside the gods mouth. Loki gasped in surprise but then he felt his own body become weak. Steve was actually a quite skilled kisser. His hands traveled up the soldiers back and up into his hair. Steve pushed the trickster down and crawled on top of him. He felt a pair of slender legs wrap around him and forced him close up against the others body. He could clearly sense the gods growing arousal under the thin layers of clothing. Again he felt the nervousness creep up under his skin and he broke the kiss. He had never done that kind of things with another man. Well of course Tony had assaulted him an endless amount of times but that was mostly because he thought it was hilarious to make Steve scream like a little girl. This was leading somewhere and he wasn't sure if he was comfortable with it. He looked down and into a pair of dazed green orbs. Steve couldn't help but chuckle a little. The always neat god had been transformed into a fuzzy, flushing mess and then a realisation hit him. He thought the god was beautiful and it shocked him. He reached out and stroked the gods cheek with a little smile.

"I have no idea what I'm doing," he then said. Loki laughed and then flipped them around in a quick motion so he was on top.

"I do," Loki said and quickly pulled Steves white robe of and threw it far out of their reach. He lifted an eyebrow and smirked.

"Say Captain? Have you been walking around commando all this time?" he asked in a teasing voice. Steve blushed.

"It is not like i had any choice," he mumbled looking all other places than the god while he tried to cover himself with his arms. Loki laughed and leaned forward to kiss him. His lips travelled down his neck and further down his collarbone. Steve closed his eyes and sighed and tried to relax. He felt Loki's hand on his thigh slowly sliding up until it reached his crotch. He hissed as the hand wrapped around it and started stroking it.

"Steven look at me. I am not scary," Loki softly whispered. Steve bit his lip and opened his eyes.

"Would you believe me if I told you that you are the only mortal that I have ever liked and I curse myself for thinking that way?" he asked and fastened the rhythm as he felt Steve grow hard in his hand. Steve made a whimpering sound.

"You don't mean that," he answered with a little voice.

"Yes I do mean it! Why would I lie to you?" Steve shook his head.

"Look at me! I do mean it!" Loki exclaimed a little louder and brushed his thumb against the tip making a moan escape from the soldiers lips.

"You are really pissing me off you know! For Odins sake I am not some monster that is just a little less scary than Freya. I do like you and I think you're gorgeous!" The jerking motions was almost violent now and Steve had completely given up swallowing the moans. He was at his limits and just as he was about to come Loki stopped. Steve made a disapproving sound but was silenced by a finger on his lips. Loki stripped of his green robe and threw it on the floor. Steve gasped. The gods body was covered in all kinds of deep cuts, giant black bruises and marks from whips. Loki sighed.

"I know. Freya did indeed not go easy on me, but it looks worse than it is." Steve didn't answer he just stared at the tormented body with giant eyes. The weird thing was that even though the gods body was trashed like that it still kept its beauty. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the trickster. Loki smiled reassuring at him.

"I really am alright." They sat like that in a moment but then Steve looked down with a red face.

"Please go on. I can't take it anymore," he whispered with the smallest voice. Loki laughed and leaned forward for a chaste kiss. Then he spitted on his fingers. Steve froze.

"What are you doing?" he asked fearing the answer.

"I am a god. You a human. Ergo you are the bodom in this. But just relax I'll make you feel really good!" Before Steve could even think about answering he felt a finger enter him. He made a surprised sound. Loki laughed.

"You brought this upon yourself," he said and added another. Steve hissed.

"Damn you," he mumbled but didn't really mean it. A third finger was added and this time it started to hurt a bit. Steve clenched his eyes shut and dug his nail into the gods back.

"Relax I won't hurt you," Loki repeated.

"You kind of already do," Steve mumbled sarcastic but then something was hit inside him. Steve couldn't hold a moan back. Loki smirked at him and repeated the movement.

"What are you doing? Is this some kind of gypsy magic?" Steve groaned trying not to squirm too much in pleasure. Loki chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"Nope. I am just awesome."

"I am about to come." Loki instantly pulled out and pushed Steve down on his back. He then crawled in between his legs with a mischievous smile. He lowered his head and licked Steves earlobe.

"Relax," he then whispered and started to push something way bigger inside the soldier. Steve whimpered. This did hurt. Alot. But Loki took his time before he started moving.

Steve really tried to man up but it was difficult, especially when the god started thrusting inside him. He cursed and tried to control his watering eyes.  
"Steven. Hold on to me," Loki said.

"What?"

"Hold on to me." The green eyes was firm. Steve hesitantly wrapped his arms and legs around him. He was warm and somehow felt nice, and it made Steve relax a bit. Steve let out a sigh. Loki smiled.

"I told you to relax. See it's not that bad?"

"It hurts like hell!" Loki just laughed and bend down to catch his mouth. Steve answered him hungrily making their tongues battle for dominance. Steve let out a loud moan as his sweet spot once again was hit which made Loki pound even harder into him probably making the whole house shake.

"How am I ever going to let Freya take you away from me now?" Loki almost yelled out. Steve shook his head violently.

"Stop saying these kinds of things! I might end up believing you!" he answered just as loud while tugging the gods raven locks. He almost didn't feel the pain anymore.

"Can't we just pretend she doesn't exist. And that I am your lover? And that we are staying here forever?" The voice was almost fragile. Steve opened his eyes and looked into the gods. They had turned into a pair of puppy eyes a puppy would have had a difficult time mimicking. Steve sighed and tightened the embrace. He was so close now.

"Okay! Let's forget her!" he agreed with a kind of broken voice. The he felt the orgasm roll through his body and explode between them while he yelled out the gods name. A few thrusts after Loki followed him and collapsed on top of him with a groan.

He laid there for a couple of moments with his face buried in Steve's shoulder before he lifted his head looking at Steve with a happy grin and the hair sticking out in all directions. Still not pulling out of him.

"I told you I would make you feel good!" Steve sighed with a smile.

"It hurts like hell," he mumbled. Loki kissed him quickly on the lips and rubbed a tear from his cheek. Steve jolted up and rubbed his eyes in shock.  
"Dang it! I just didn't cry again? I swear that acid must have made me more sensitive!" Loki laughed.

"No I think you were born sensitive." He then smirked and his puppy eyes turned into the ones of a fox.

"Ready for round two?"

"No! I need a break! Ah! Cut it o-out!"

"No way!"

"Fuck you Loki I hate you! Uuh..."

"Well then I won't be gentle this time!"

"You're terrible! Mmh!"

Steve woke up in the middle of the night. Rain was violently drumming against the roof and he was alone. At first the terrible thought, that the god had returned to earth and left him to Freyas mercy, hit him but then he saw a pale silhouette standing just outside. Steve groaned and got out of the bed while he wrapped the blanket around his body and stumbled to the door ignoring his aching ass and the semen running down his thigh. He opened it and stepped out on the wet grass. Loki was standing completely naked with his arms spread out. He was facing the sky with closed eyes and a major smile painted on his face. Steve smiled and just watched for a moment.

"What are you doing?" Loki slowly opened his eyes.

"Feeling. What about you?"

"Watching... You know you are going to catch a cold like that. Why don't you come back to bed?"

"Alright mom!" Loki answered. Steve rolled his eyes. Loki wasn't the first one to call him that. They went back into the house and curled up together like before.

"You are ice cold," Steve mumbled.

"Then it is good you are here to warm me up," Loki answered. Steve smiled because of the cheesy line and wrapped his arms tighter around the god and soon after they both were fast asleep.****

So yeah... I have no comments other than I hope this will please you. I managed to write this with the most evil hangover in history so be proud of me! c:

From yours truly Landevejsridder 


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: In which Freya returns**

They forgot to count the days. They forgot everything. They just danced around dropping flowers on their way, climbing the tree, swimming in a nearby lake under the stars, whispering sweet words into each others ears while they made love and they did that... alot. Steve completely forgot that there were something called a girl and if there had been doubt about him liking men... well let's just say he was sure now. It was like he was permanently on LSD just with less fairies and stuff. And Loki... Loki was on the same trip. The power-hungry supervillain he thought he had known had been turned into some kind of dreamy elf prince he just couldn't keep his hands off.

One afternoon they sat in the flowers. Loki halfway on Steves lab with a dazed expression while the soldier was braiding his hair.  
"So who learned you this?"

"Your brother actually. He told me that him and his friends always was braiding each others hair before a grand battle. It apparently made the look more terrifying?" Steve answered softly. Loki facepalmed.

"Sometimes I swear my brother is more gay than me," he groaned.

"I believe you on that one," Steve mumbled.

"I swear sometimes I think that... him and Tony... and... there is just this weird tension and then when they get drunk... Oh boy!"

"What?" Loki laughed.

"I don't know. Maybe it is just Tony. He is assaulting everybody and Thor... he is just assaulting him back. But they are definitely good friends!" Silence. Steve finished the braid and tied a flower around it. Then he started on a new, even more complex one. He had really bonded with the thunderer that evening he had been taught to braid. He would miss him.

"How is Thor?" Loki asked slowly. This time he was serious.

"I don't know. After we defeated you he was always the life of the party. Him and Tony was always going to bed at dawn and waking up in the afternoon every day of the week. I thought they would start bleeding alcohol. But I don't really think he was as happy as he pretended to be. And then he returned to Asgard to be at your trial and he didn't return for days. And then when he returned it was only to tell us that you had been sentenced to death and that he wouldn't be back before it was over. He seemed so broken. It was so hard to watch. I tried to talk to him that evening. He really does love you, you know." Loki sighed and didn't answer that one. He got up and stretched his body and started walking away slowly.

"Where are you going? Stay!" Steve called out. Loki turned around with a big grin on his face.

"I am starving so i'm going to go hunt. And you can't come with me, because last time you almost fainted." Steve pouted.

"Can't you stay just a little bit longer?" he asked but got cut of by his own rumbling stomach.

"Okay you are allowed to leave," he mumbled making Loki laugh. The god turned around and came running back and threw himself back on the soldiers lab wrapping his arms around the blonde's neck and kissing him slowly and sensual. He then jumped back on his feet and ran away leaving Steve with a goofy grin on his face.

After running some time Loki stopped up. He rubbed his chin looking up in the sky while he tried to remember when he himself, the almighty god of mischief who once had dreamed of ruling the whole universe, had become a love drunk hippie.

Loki didn't return for some time so Steve decided to take a nap. He curled up in the flowerbed enjoying the sun's warmth on his skin, the way the thousands of different flowers smelled and the way he could still taste Loki. He closed his eyes and slowly dozed off.

A place nearby several cats was purring. Steve groaned. Where did the cats come from. He hadn't seen any cats all week.

_She's a bimbo riding around in a wagon dragged by kittens._

Steve jolted up. His heart was racing and his body started shaking. Which day was it? She couldn't already be there. Could she? He started counting the days he had been stuck on the meadow. It was exactly one week since he had arrived. His body was now shaking furiously. He turned his head towards the tree. Some kind of pink and purple portal of smoke had opened in the sky and a chariot dragged by two giant, white cats was slowly approaching the ground. And there she was. A young woman dressed in blue and covered in jewels. Loki had been right about her being beautiful. She had a heart shaped face with full lips and glowing brown doe eyes framed in a wild mane of curly, golden hair with flowers braided in it. It was almost flowing down her perfect hourglass shaped body all the way down to the floor. She was indeed pretty. But she didn't awake anything else than fear in Steve's heart. The wagon hit the ground and she stepped out.  
"I have arrived! Where are you my little henchman?" she sang out. Her voice was high pitched like a little girls. Nothing like Steve imagined.  
"Loki?" she called again. Steve jumped to his feet and started to run as fast as he could just hoping she wouldn't see him. He needed to find Loki.

He ran for a bit but then he saw him. He stopped up and they just stood there looking almost confused at each other. Then they ran towards each other colliding in an almost explosive embrace.

"She's here!" Steve almost yelled.

"I know." Loki's voice was weak. Steve looked at him. He was crying.

"I don't want her to take you," Loki said really trying hard to control his voice. Steve smiled.

"I don't want to go either. But it is better than you getting executed right?" Loki broke down in a giant sob.

"I don't know! Right now the thought of her touching you. It is unbearable. I am the only one who is allowed to do that!" Steve held him tight.

"Promise me one thing. When I am gone, go see your brother and patch things up. And try not to cause too much chaos. Don't worry. I will be fine. She is indeed pretty but not as pretty as you." Loki smiled a smile that just made him look even more pathetic.

"Shut up Steven."

"I mean maybe she will be nice to me and... I really don't want to see you die so it will be worth it... kind of." Loki just began to sob uncontrollably now.

"Loki... don't cry please." Loki buried his face in Steve's chest making his tunic all wet. The giant cats deep purring approached them.

"Don't cry. She will be here soon and it will just please her even more seeing you like this."

"I know... but I can't stop. It wasn't supposed to be like this! I was supposed to hate you!" Steve turned his head. He could spot Freya coming towards them on the back of a released cat.  
"She have seen us," Steve mumbled darkly. Loki turned his head to face the approaching danger.

"Oh look. Doom is riding a kitten," he said ironically. Steve laughed dryly. He turned his head towards his elf prince and dried his tears away.  
"It is just. You make me feel so... I don't know. Steven?"

"Yes?"

"We could just run away you know?" Steve lifted an eyebrow.

"Would that work?"

"Yeah... kind of... But she would hunt us down probably kill us both." Steve smiled.

"Do you fear her? I mean she looks pretty innocent. We could probably take her down if we wanted to." Loki rolled his eyes.

"Nope she is ridiculously overpowered."

"Then let's leave."

"She would be furious. Damn my death will be slow and painful." Steve chuckled and bend down to kiss him.

"At least we would be fighting," he then said. Loki smiled mischievously. And turned around to face Freya. She was under 100 meters from them now.

"Greetings Freya! We have been expecting you!" he yelled to her.

"Loki! Where you just kissing my pet?" Freya yelled back. Loki grinned at her.

"No. This one is not yours. I have claimed him myself. Actually I haven't really done anything else this week. But you know. We really have to get going. And you probably also have some dwarfs to mate with! See you around!"

Steve's ears was shredded by Freyas furious primordial woman roar but then he suddenly was flying through time and space in the arms of the god. He couldn't help but smile broadly. If this meant that they had to flee the rest of their lives and die violent deaths by the mercy of Freya he could only say that this had been totally worth it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: In which Loki steals a bike and bewitch it with his gypsy magic**

Steve hit asphalted ground a little too hard to be comfortable and it didn't really help that Loki landed on top of him. He instantly felt change in the temperature. It was colder now. He slowly lifted his head opening his eyes. They was laying in the middle of an empty road with empty fields on both sides.

"So that could surely have been done more graceful," Loki whispered.

"Are you hurt? "he then asked. Steve chuckled.

"Maybe a little but nothing serious. So what do we do now?" Loki sighed.

"We run. And then we keep running. We can't really hide from her. Not for very long anyway." He didn't really sound scared, but he didn't have hope in his voice either. Steve stroked his cheek with a little smile.

"Don't give up okay." Loki laughed.

"This is without doubt the stupidest thing I've ever done. She will catch us and strangle us in our own intestines if she is in a forgiving mood. Maybe just me. I don't think she is that mad at you." He slowly got off Steve and stood up. He offered Steve a hand.

"Loki?"

"Mmh?"

"Why did you have to hand me over. Couldn't she get me herself from the start?" Loki started laughing and forgot to pull Steve up so he fell back on the ground.

"That is a more complex story. You know she is one of the 'good' gods. She can't just walk around kidnapping people. It is like she can't run around stealing things. It pains her a lot I can tell. But I myself is fated to cause mischief so I can kidnap, steal, kill without reason, you name it and it would be expected of me. So she told me to get you and then trade you for my own life. Then she would be allowed to keep you." He grabbed Steve's wrist and succeeded to pull him off the ground this time.

"Oh I have this hilarious story about her! Did you notice that gorgeous necklace she was wearing?" Steve nodded and followed the god as he started walking down the road.

"Yeah. She got that mating with a lot of dwarfs!" He started cracking up as he remembered the tale.

"She was just walking by the dwarf smith and saw that the Dwarfs had finished the necklace. She fell in love with it and said she would pay anything to get it, and then the Dwarfs said she should lay with them all! She was furious and stomped away yelling terrible curses only to stomp right back and agree to fuck every single one of them!" he told almost sobbing. But then he covered his mouth with a hand stopping himself.

"Oh I should not have told you that. This is kind of the reason she hates me so much." Steve looked interrogative at Loki who was now blushing.  
"She told me not to tell anyone..."

"And you?"

"I told everyone." Steve couldn't hold back a giggle.

"You're so terrible! What happened next?"

" Allfarther heard the rumor. I have already told you that I suspect them to have slept together right? He was furious and demanded evidence. He threatened to throw me out from the Bifrost if I didn't prove that I wasn't lying." There was no humor left in Loki's voice.

"It is impossible to break into Freya's house... for anyone but me. I transformed into a mosquito and found a hole in the ceiling. It was a really difficult task but i managed to get the necklace off her and bring it to Allfather. She got in so much trouble but ended up getting it back. She have never forgiven me though. It is weird. I have done far worse things."

"Do you really think that this is the whole reason?" Steve asked. Loki shrugged

"So she says." Steve nodded.

"So where are we going anyways?"

"We are heading towards a village, where we will get the things we need the most, and then we are going into the wild." Steve nodded again.  
"Into the wild, huh," he said more to himself than the other.

They walked into an almost empty, small town. And those few people that were on the streets wasn't speaking english. Steve couldn't recognize the language but he assumed it was some kind of Scandinavian. Loki stopped in the middle of the street while he completely ignored the curious glances from the few by-passers. He looked Steve up and down. They were both still dressed in the thin tunics from Freya's garden.

"We need to get warmer clothing. Shelter. And a transport," he mumbled.

"First things first. Stand still!" Steve did as he was told and he could suddenly feel the white robe turn into a way warmer and less asgardian sweater and some jeans. Loki sighed.

"It's a shame though. You looked amazing in that robe." He turned his own tunic into something similar and then started scanning the surroundings with his eyes. He made an approving sound as his glance fell on a parked bike.  
"That'll do," he mumbled to himself and immediately ran over and unlocked it with a small touch. Steve hurried over to the god with plain panic in his eyes.

"Loki! We can't just steal it!" he hissed through his teeth. Loki smirked at him.

"Oh! I think we just did. What are you going to do about it? Now we are criminals," he said teasing. Steve sighed.

"I hate you. Stupid god..."

"In bed," Loki added with a stone face. Steve failed at strangling the laugh. The god smirked and clapped his hands together.

"Now we just have one problem! I have never ridden one of these bikes!" Steve smiled.

"I have an idea." He leaned towards the god and whispered something into his ear. The god looked like a big question mark at first but then he nodded and started wavering his hands over the bike. It started extending and slowly transforming into a tandem and as a bonus its colors started changing into the stars and stripes. Steve looked speechless at the tandem.

"That was amazing," he whispered. Loki sent him a smug grin.

"I know right! But how are we going to ride this?" Steve grinned.

"I will be leading of course! You just have to sit still and pedal." Loki nodded slowly not looking completely satisfied.

"I can submit to that for now. But I swear I will be leading when I have learned this!" Steve patted his shoulder with a smile.

"Not gonna happen. You might be the god of mischief but I am the god of bikes!" Loki facepalmed. Steve laughed and got on the front saddle of the bike. Loki followed him a bit more skeptical.

"Don't worry! It is easy. We just have to start at the same time!" Steve said cheerfully. Loki rolled his eyes when he was sure the cap wasn't looking.

"Ok we start on three! One... two... three!" He started pedaling but Loki was almost instantly out of rhythm and they only drove a couple of meters before they overturned.

"Boy... You are really bad at this."

"Shut up Steven or I might kill you..."

"I bet you will." Steve got back on his legs and pulled the bike off the ground. Loki groaned and followed Steve back on the tandem.  
"Okay! This time hold on to me and relax. Else we will fall once again. I will be gentle since this is your first time." Loki bopped his head with an annoyed sound and Steve laughed.

"One... two... three!" This time it went better and they biked all the way down the residential. Loki's breathing was fast and and he was clenching Steve so hard that it almost hurt.

"Not so fast... NOT SO FAST I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU!" Steve slowed down but then Loki stopped breathing.  
"What's wrong?" Loki uttered some whiny sound and pointed at the sky. An evil looking, purple portal was slowly opening up a few miles away.

"You are allowed to speed up now," Loki mumbled and started tormenting the pedals himself. Steve uttered a word he never thought should leave his mouth and started using his super soldier legs to what they were made for. Pedaling like death and hell. They drove through the town with the speed of the wind. As they drove by a camping shop Loki summoned a tent and some other useful things that flew after them in midair. Steve sighed in his head and promised himself that, if he was to survive this, he would return and pay for everything. Then he smiled. The best motivation to learn to bike for a nordic god was definitely a furious dame in a chariot of kittens.

They drove as their life depended on it (which it also did) in several hours. The sweet and gentle Steve had transformed into a brutal military man who was constantly yelling that Loki should go faster. If Loki wasn't nearly dying of lack of oxygen he would probably have strangled him.

The sky started to turn red and Steve allowed Loki to slow down a bit. He turned his head and smiled at the slightly grumpy god.  
"I think we lost her!" he exclaimed with a giant, toothy smile.  
"I will destroy you..." Steve ignored that comment and smiled even wider.  
"So should we camp someplace near?" Loki nodded still panting. And then they drove into the ditch because Steve couldn't keep his eyes on the road.

"Woops."  
"Are you kidding me? You are more dangerous than her! Some day we are going to fall from a cliff or something because you can't watch the... mmmmffgg!" Steve had pushed the bike off them, leaned over the god and kissed him with a lot of passion. Loki struggled but eventually all his rage had been almost sucked out of him. Steve pulled away and chuckled.  
"Wow," Loki mumbled. He stood up wobbling a little and climbed up on the road again.  
"There are trees... on that... field. We will camp there."

They, that would say Steve, put up the tent in between the trees. Loki caused more destruction than he helped. They managed to make a fire before it was completely dark and sat there devouring a poor, unlucky bird.

"So how long do you think it will take for her to catch up with us?" Steve asked.

"Worry about that tomorrow. Right now I am your biggest threat!" Loki answered with a devilish expression.  
"What? Why?"

"The bike Steven... the bike..."

"What? Are you still mad about that?"

"Oh yes... yes I am..."

"Yikes..."

"Shut up Steven..."

****

Thank you very much for the nice reviews! It is like pure protein for me. And also a great thanks for the followers and favorites. You are my vitamins! 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: In which Freya is a bitch

****  
"Loki? What are you doing?"

"Åndssvage prinsesse Guldlok. Du bliver min død!" Loki mumbled in that weird scandinavian tongue. He had pushed Steve down and climbed on top of him while he tried to strip him from his sweater. It was sadly not going as smoothly as with Freyas white robe.

"Lorte amerikaner..." Steve just looked perplexed at him.

"What are you saying?" he asked softly.

"Take off your clothes..." Steve stared blankly at him.

"Again?"

"Just do it..."

"But then I will freeze." Lokis tough facade cracked a bit and he couldn't help but giggle a little.

"You're... you're just so..." he leaned forward and brushed his lips quickly against the blondes. Steve smiled.

"...Stupid! Yes stupid is the word. Plus you suck at biking." Loki slipped his hand under Steves sweater and started exploring his chest. He could really feel the outcome of the daily 80000 pushups. Steve sighed.

"Oh stop sweet talking me. You're making me blush," he mumbled ironically. Loki smirked and leaned down and licked down his neck. Steve shivered as the god reached his collarbone and left a very visible lovebite. Loki chuckled. He could already feel the soldiers growing erection against his thigh. He slipped his leg in between Steve's creating a little friction there. Steve blushed.

"Take it off," Loki whispered. Only with a little bit of demand in his voice.

"But..." Steve didn't really utter more understandable words than that. Loki had distracted him by squeezing the bulge in his pants.

"...So... the tent?" Loki laughed.

"Sure..." The soldier almost jumped to his feet and swept the god from the ground and ran to the tent carrying him bridal style.  
As they got in Loki tackled the cap to the ground almost ripping the sweater of him. He stopped with a sigh and enjoyed the sight of the incredible torso.  
"I should have teleported us to a tropical country. Then you could have walked around like that all day," he mumbled and pushed Steve down on his back. He trailed kisses all the way down his chest and stomach until he reached the pants and unzipped them with his teeth. Steve moaned as the gods lips wrapped around him and started sucking him off, something he was very skilled at, when suddenly something collided with the ground outside.  
Loki looked up, with eyes that looked like they could fall out of his head every second, still with the cock in his mouth. It would have been funny if it wasn't for the deafening meowing just outside the tent.

"... well... that was quickly she found us," Steve said with an almost calm voice. Loki sat up in a quick motion and slicked his hair back.

"Freya has always been a hell of a... what do you earthlings call it?... Cockblock... yes? So what are we going to do now?" Steve quickly pulled the sweater back over his head.

"You can go get the bike. I will go out and talk to her," he answered.

"Oh no. No no no no! No way!" Loki started to chant, but Steve just smiled at him.

"You told me yourself that it was you she hated, not me. And she wants me so she wouldn't kill me. And she can't claim me unless you hand me over. It's a perfect plan and maybe I can talk some sense into her."

"She has no such things as sense!" Steve grinned.

"Shut up Loki."

"No you shut up! And that is my line! How dare you use it against me?" Steve waved his hand to silence the god.

"Just get the bike. Worst case scenario I will take her down with my fists!" Loki facepalmed but wasn't fast enough to protest. Steve was already on his way out.

She was sitting before the fire with her back turned against him. She didn't turn to look at him but giggled.

"Once again I have managed to ruin your lovelife, Loki."

"Actually I think this is the first time you do it to me. Hello Freya," Steve answered. Freya turned and smirked at him.

"So he has surrendered and is handing you over now?" she asked. Steve shook his head.

"Nope. I am just here to talk. He was against it."

"So talk you say? I could just take you with me, you know. I actually think you would like that."

"No and no," Steve said with a small smile.

"What do you mean?"

"No as in he need to hand me over. Else you can't take me home. He told me that. And no as in I kind of figured that I might be a homosexual..." Freya sighed.

"Stupid pheasant... With me sexual preferences doesn't matter.I am the goddess of love. Also the goddess in bed" Steve sniffed.

"Loki claims that too," he mumbled under his breath. He then reattached his poker face.

"Isn't there anyway you could let Loki live without me... being your pet and so..." Freya smirked.

"Little friend... Don't forget he wrecked your city. You shouldn't be begging for his life you know." Steve felt something clench him from the inside. He had almost forgot that.

"He don't deserve to die," he almost whispered.

"Thousands of mortals were killed. Some of them your friends." Steve gulped. Coulson...

"Why avenge them with even more deaths?"

"It would only bring justice. And if he was to be released maybe he would try claiming midgaard again." Steve looked into her eyes with a piercing gaze.

"He wouldn't do that. I have asked," he said.

"And he is the god of lies. I have felt it the hard way." There was definitely some traces of sadness in her voice. Steve flinched. Where was Loki with that bike?

"I used to be his friend too. Maybe even his best one. We told eachother everything. Our dreams, which men we thought were handsome. Secrets." She sighed.

"And then he ruined my life without reason." She laid a hand on Steve's knee and looked him deep in the eyes.

"It might hurt to believe but he doesn't care about you." Steve's breath was shaking a bit. He would say something. Maybe defend Loki or something but he couldn't find the words. He shouldn't trust Loki. Loki did usually not care about anyone. And they had slept together. And he might have developed a major Stockholm Syndrome. Freya smiled as she could read his thoughts.

"Run away or let me kill him, my beautiful mortal," she whispered and leaned forward kissing his cheek.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME, FREYA?! THIS IS WHY I HATE YOU!" Loki's voice boomed. Steve flinched at the sight or the furious raven haired man. This could not be fake. Freya smiled.

"Greetings former friend. I am just claiming what is supposed to be mine," she said. Loki dropped the bike, and stormed forward towards them.

"HE DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS TRYING TO TAKE AWAY THE PEOPLE THAT I LOVE?!" he screeched. Steve hissed and turned around with big eyes.

"You love me?" he whined.

"Shut up Steven!"

"Yeah mortals shouldn't interfere while the gods are talking," Freya added. Loki turned to her again with a burning aura of pure hate.  
"YOU THINK YOU ARE THE VICTIM?! YOU FUCKED MY DAD! ALL I HAVE DONE TO YOU IS ONLY TO REVENGE MY MOTHER! YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT RUIN MY LIFE!"

"She's not your mother," Freya said with smug grin. Steve flinched. That was way below the belt. Loki smiled calmly. He then extended his arm and summoned his staff.  
"Say hello to my daughter when you meet her... IN HELL!" The last thing was roared and Loki almost flew towards the goddess trying to poke her eyes out with the weapon. Freya just laughed, grabbed the scepter and threw it out of Lokis reach.

Steve watched in horror as Freya was beating the crap out of Loki. It eventually reached that point when Steve couldn't control himself. He ignored Loki, that was constantly yelling that he should keep out of the fight, and he jumped to his feet and threw himself between the gods. He pushed Loki so he flew several meters away. Then he grabbed Freya by the hair and smashed her to the grown in a fashion that resembled Hulks fighting style.

"Loki! GET THE BIKE!" he roared. Loki looked at him from the ground with pathetic eyes. Then he got back on his legs and ran towards the tandem. It was a bit embarrassing but he was actually a little bit scared of Steve when he went all military on him.

"How dare you throw me mortal?" Freya yelled, still not really believing what just happened.

"How dare you fondue my boyfriends dad?"

"I will end you!"

"No you won't! You want him in you bed, way too much!" Loki yelled as he approached with bike. He was still unable to ride it alone. Freya smirked.

"You are right once again my sweet trickster. And I will enjoy it even more when you hand him over. You fear me way too much to keep going against my will." Loki was now only a few meters from Steve who held out his arm, to stop him from getting into the goddess reach. Loki stared at Steve. Again with that sad ekspression.

"You know that I wouldn't do that right?" he asked with a small voice. Steve didn't answer that.

"Let's just get away now," he whispered. He got on the bike and looked at Freya with a dashing smile.

"It has been a pleasure talking to you mam, but we have to get going." He then looked at Loki with a soft smile.

"On three. One. Two. Three!" The bike softly started rolling away from the perplexed goddess. Steve turned his head towards her a last time giving her a casual salute.  
"By the way, happy dwarf humping! GO! GO! GO!"

And once again Freyas resounding roar was to be heard.

**Åndssvage prinsesse Guldlok. Du bliver min død! - Stupid princess Goldilocks. You will be the death of me!**

**Lorte amerikaner! - Shitty american **

**Couldn't resist the opportunity of using my skills at talking wiking-language. **  
**So once again thanks for the support! I am glad that the messedupness of this story amuses you guys :D **

**Ps. everybody should try riding a tandem! It is awesome. **

**Landevejsridder **


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